I Want My New EV (with apologies to Dire Straits)

I’ve hit a wall with this, so please take it and do with it as you will.

Mileage for Nothing

Sung to “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits

I.. Want.. My.. New.. E.. V..
Now look at them yo-yos that’s the way you do it
You charge the batt’ries on the New EV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Mileage for nothin’ and road tax for free
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
We gotta refine hydro-carbons
Middle Eastern deliveries
We gotta drill these oil fields
We gotta pump this petroleum
That JB Straubel with the tesla and the sedan
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That JB Straubel got his own jet airplane
That JB Straubel he’s a millionaire

Gotta install hybrid drivetrains
Epicyclic planet’ries
We gotta drop these carbon emissions
We gotta up these MPGs
I shoulda learned the AC motor
I shoulda learned them lithiums

Look at that mama, she got it stickin’ in the outlet
Man we could have some
And he’s up there, what’s that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin’ on the bongos like a chimpanzee
Oh, that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your mileage for nothin’ get road tax for free
We gotta install hydrogen fuel cells
Proton exchange membrane
We gotta use these electrolyzers
We gotta move this Clarity
Look a’ here that ain’t workin’
that’s the way you do it
You charge the batt’ry on your new EV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Mileage for nothin’ and road tax for free
Mileage for nothin’ and tax for free
Mileage for nothin’ and your tax for free
Look at that, look at that
Mileage for nothin’ and your tax for free
I want my, I want my, I want my new EV
Mileage for nothin’ and tax for free (Fade)
I want my, I want my, I want my new EV